Day by day

Written by Amy Banocy

January 3, 2023

It’s January 3rd and I have not settled in to the New Year. As I’ve aged, I’ve realized it takes me some time. Or perhaps, it’s more that Jan 1 to me, is just a transition from the day before, just like any other day. Spring tends to be more of a time of newness for me, which makes sense, right? The weather changes, the flowers bloom, there’s a freshness in the air.

Over the years, I’ve also moved away from making New Year’s Resolutions. You know, those things we say we’re going to do and we get really excited about. Those things we start doing and they feel really good, until they don’t, or it gets too hard, or life happens, and they go by the wayside? In fact, the more I think about it, most resolutions are simply based on the “shoulds” society places on us. We list out things we’re going to change about ourselves or new “healthy” habits we’re going to pick up. They may seem like things we “want” to do, but I think if they really were OUR wants, we’d stick to them. Resolutions fade because they lose importance to us.

I haven’t always felt or thought this way. When I was little, I used to write down my resolutions and seal them in an envelope. I’d then carefully address the envelope, seal it and apply a stamp. I wouldn’t mail it, but I placed it in the little cabinet on my hutch dresser. And just who did I address it to?

G-d, 123 Sky Road, Clouds, Universe, 12345

That’s right. I wrote my resolutions, sealed them in an envelope addressed to G-d and let them sit in a cabinet all year.

I don’t remember whether I kept to those resolutions I listed, but I do remember opening the envelopes at the end of the year.

Today, rather than a list of resolutions, I made a list of how I want to FEEL this year. Among the list; well rested, strong (in body), confident, loving and loved.

Rather than sealing these in an envelope and sticking them somewhere I won’t see them, my plan is to intentionally craft my days with these FEELINGS in mind. As my wise friend Layton says, “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a fuck no!” If something isn’t going to make me FEEL how I want to feel, I’m going to pass on it (or try my best!).

Rather than setting goals or resolutions that will likely fade away before the end of the month, I want to cultivate these FEELINGS through my daily actions.

Maybe come spring, I’ll be ready to face the “New” Year? For now, I’m going to lay in bed, read my book and take a nap, because I am tired and want to FEEL rested when the boys get home from school today.

How about you? Are you a resolutions fan?



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