Sometimes, life gives you lemons and you make lemonade.
Sometimes life gives you lemons, and all you can do is squeeze the shit out of them, filled with sheer anger and frustration, not finding the sugar or making anything sweet from them.
And that is ok!
Emotions are real and we must feel and honor all of them!
The past couple of months have been a roller coaster of emotions over here. Starting with a routine mammogram on 12/1 and followed by mammos, biopsies, MRIs, and many doctor appointments, on 12/30, I was diagnosed with DCIS, a type of breast cancer, in my left breast.
At first glance, DCIS seems pretty easy to take care of and in most cases it can be. The great news about DCIS, is that the cancer cells are stuck in the ducts, so it is considered non-invasive, meaning it hasn’t left the duct and spread anywhere else.
Unfortunately, my DCIS is so massively widespread throughout my breast, possibly having some invasive areas and it is high grade (not a good term, basically), so I will need to have a mastectomy. I will be losing my left breast.
To further complicate things, the most recent MRI also showed possible cancerous areas on my right breast. We’re finding out more about this and over the next week will need to decide whether I will have a double mastectomy. (Please no opinions on this. Thx!)
I’ve cried. I’ve screamed. I’ve asked “Why me?” I’ve been angry. Angry as hell. I live a very healthy lifestyle and none of this makes sense to me.
All that said, I am so grateful it is nothing more than it is and I remain positive (as I always am!) and confident that once the breast(s) is/are off and the cancer is out of my body, they will find nothing else and I will be just fine.
As one doctor told me, this is not life threatening, it is breast threatening. It will be life altering and I will not be naive to that fact. I am so grateful the diagnosis is nothing more than what it is.
I will keep my head up, but when it needs to droop and cry, when I need to scream, I will most definitely allow it all. I am so blessed to have an incredible support system, and they are all showing up big time for me, which I am incredibly grateful for.
Final words for today….ladies, I implore you to have your annual mammograms! It doesn’t prevent cancer, but it helps with early detection and having it done every year is a MUST! I can’t imagine what this could’ve turned into, had I not had my mammogram close to the one year mark. I might be telling a very different, even more challenging story.